My friends

23 Jun 2009

Dear Auntie Fola,

I am an African girl aged 16. I live in North London with my mum, two older brothers and a younger sister. My mum doesn’t like any of my friends because she says they are not from the same ‘background’. Infact she says we children will have to marry only people from my tribe (I am a Muganda from Uganda). She hates it when we bring home friends who are ‘outsiders’. My brothers are particularly upset about this, as their girlfriends are not from Uganda. How can we make mum understand that in choosing a friend, tribe or ethnic origin really should not be an issue?

Virginia, Edmonton

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Dear Virginia

Auntie Fola 
23 Jun 2009 15:44

You and your brothers will need to work towards building trust with your mum and creating a good balance between your education (which is of great importance to many African parents) and the things you enjoy doing in your free time.

Try and be mindful of the kind of friends you hang out with. You also need to work on your communication skills, so that you can give good explanations to your mum about why it is the character, not the tribe, of a friend that matters most. Let your mum know that you are capable of making the right decision about what sort of friends you want. Also, let her know that the world today is like one big village, where people from different cultural and ethnic background mix. You can mention examples of couples from different cultures who are married and in a good relationship. You can also encourage your mum to attend workshops aimed at promoting cohesion between the different races.

Fola

Russia

Russia Prince 
31 Mar 2010 11:18

Hey very nice blog!! Man...I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also. Cha!

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