Positive living - Pamela Mahaka

Everyone who has been diagnosed HIV positive has their own story about the moments before and after the test. In this article, Pamela Mahaka tells of her determination not to allow HIV to stop her from achieving her dreams

My attitude has always been that there is little to be gained from talking about how someone got the virus. It is what happens ‘after’ the infection that matters most. For my part, I’m glad I took the test. I had visited the clinic to get tested for thrush, but when I got there I decided I might as well get a general sexual health check. Interestingly, although that was only three years ago, I now do not remember much about the procedures, but I do remember the emotions, the devastation, and the initial realisation that nothing would ever be the same for me again.

In the days following the test, I realised that, although the result meant there were going to be some changes to the plans I had for the future, I was the only one who could control the changes. Luckily, I had the necessary support of family, friends and colleagues in my social group. 

I always tell my friends that a positive HIV test result is a bit like falling down. When you fall, do you stay on the ground for long, or do you try and stand up? You have to carry on with life, so that when other people come to help, they can see that you want to move on. Having HIV does not necessarily mean you will not be able to lead a normal life, nor that you will not achieve the dreams you always had. You can achieve those dreams, albeit often in a different way.

As young people, we have so many things that we aspire to do. I had aspirations myself – of growing up and becoming a nurse, and then I thought I would join the Royal Navy, drive a nice car and live in a mansion somewhere in the middle of nowhere. But life doesn’t always go according to plan, does it? After abandoning my nursing ambition, I had to start all over again, so I studied Travel and Tourism. I intend to bring Travel and Tourism into the HIV sector, because having HIV doesn’t mean we have to stop travelling or enjoying ourselves!  I have also trained as a youth worker, and am now volunteering with the African HIV Policy Network (AHPN) and with other voluntary organisations. 

Since my diagnosis, I have become an accredited facilitator for the Positive Self-Management Programme with Living Well Programme and the Expert Patients Programme at Macmillan Cancer Support. My advice to other young people who are thinking about their sexual health is that, it is better to know your status than to not know. Walking into a clinic or requesting a sexual health screening does not mean that you are promiscuous; on the contrary, it means that you care about your health and the health of others who are close to you. So, have not fear about visiting the clinic!

For more information about HIV, and where to test, please visit:

www.tht.org
www.aidsmap.com
www.ruthinking.co.uk
www.likeitis.org.uk

or call the following helplines:

• THT Direct on 0845 1221200
• The African AIDS Helpline on 0800 0967500
• Brooks Helpline on 0800 0185023
• Sexwise on 0800 282930

Posted On: 16 June 2009 at 03:15PM
Tags: positive living

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