Positive living - Tendai Ndanga
Tendai Ndanga was diagnosed with HIV in 1998. In this column, she tells MAMBO about the effect the positive result had on her, and how she has since been able to rebuild her life and self-confidence.
MAMBO: How much did you know about HIV before you went for the test?
TENDAI: Not much. All I knew was that back in my home country, Zimbabwe, HIV/AIDS was known as the ‘slim’ disease. People who had it lost a lot of weight. My attitude was: ‘It doesn’t apply to me. Physically, I am a big person and am not losing any weight’.
MAMBO: What made you go for the test, then?
TENDAI: I had been having chest pain, which I at first attributed to my asthma. Then the clinic staff did an investigation and found out I had TB. I knew TB could be cured so I started taking TB medicines right away. Then, during one of my visits to the hospital, my doctor suggested I should take a HIV test. The way he brought out the subject, it was like: ‘I do not think you have it, but just to be sure, we should perhaps eliminate it’.
MAMBO: How did you react when test result showed you had HIV?
TENDAI: The test result came as a big shock. I remember going numb for a while, but I was able quickly to pull myself together. Shortly afterwards, I started making plans and decisions in my mind. I remember one of the early decisions was that I wanted to be buried in Zimbabwe. I really believed that I did not have long to live.
MAMBO: Did you find it difficult to tell other people that you had HIV?
TENDAI: I was a bit worried about how my friends and family would react, so I hesitated for a while before finally breaking the news to them. Fortunately, they were all very understanding, and they offered words of encouragement.
MAMBO: Was it easy for you to come to terms with your HIV status?
TENDAI: Later on I was able to join a support group run by the HIV charity Positive Women, and networks run by other charities such as Terrence Higgins Trust and The Positive Place. There, I met several people who were also living with HIV. Together, we shared our personal experiences and learnt a lot from each other. That really helped me to come to terms with my infection. Of course, living with a long term disease is not something you can ignore easily. I still do have to take my medication two times a day, everyday; I also have other issues to deal with, such as my asthma and arthritis. On the whole, however, I live as normally and healthily as I can.
MAMBO: What is your social life like?
TENDAI: My social life had stopped for a while, following the HIV test. But as soon as I regained my self-confidence, I started dating again. I am a very open person, so if I meet a man who is interested in me, I will tell him about my HIV status. If he is not comfortable with that, he walks. I am not saying this is what everyone should do, but I feel that being frank about your HIV status will help put the relationship on a stronger foundation.
MAMBO: What are your plans for the future?
TENDAI: I am currently on the last year of an Applied Sociology course at London Metropolitan University. I would like to help other people cope with life, including all that life throws at them. Already, I have been involved in a number of community projects. At Positively Women, I participated in developing a booklet on women and HIV; recently, I worked on an oral history project featuring personal stories of women living with HIV. I also do a lot of public speaking on the subject of HIV.
MAMBO: What advice would you give to someone who has just tested HIV positive?
TENDAI: My advice would be: get more information about HIV. Secondly: adjust the way you live. Too much alcohol consumption, cigarettes and drugs should be avoided. Third: Do lots of physical exercises. Fourth: if on HIV treatment, take the right amount of medicines and at the right time. Finally, joining a support network will help to restore your self-confidence.
Support for people with diagnosed HIV
To find out more about support services for people with HIV, please contact THT Direct on 0845 1221200. If you live in south London, you can call the South London Partnership on 020 328 9798.
Other useful contacts:
• Positively Women on 020 7713 0222
• Organisation of African Positive Men (OPAM) on 020 7281 2254.
• Aidsmap.com for information on HIV treatment and related issues
• The ‘African Eye Voice’ for information on HIV treatment on 020 7239 4901
• I-Base for treatment information on 0808 800 6013.
“Being frank about your HIV status will help put the relationship on a strong foundation”.
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